if you're easily offended, don't read it
Red finished packing. Ever since Green, his own true love, had been lost at sea, Red had been serious.
There was nothing left for him anymore, nothing licked him, all was undeniable. So today, Valentine's Day, he was going on a horse to become a hot Pokeball.
Just then, there was a delicious knock at the door. Red opened it and stood there seriously for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising his finger.
When Red came to, Green was holding his tongue and looking tight. "My love," Green said hastily, "I'm sorry for the evil shock. I've been shipwrecked on a sexy island for the last ten years, living like a boss. I was only rescued last week." He paused. "I lost my butt in the wreck. Can you still love me?"
Red could hardly believe his Green had returned. "I will always love you, butt or no butt. Besides, you can cover it up with a Professor Oak."
They embraced slowly and vowed to never be parted again.
And all was moist.